Vision Pro + Family: Attention/ intention

I think all parents would say they want to be really present with their children. Sometimes I try to imagine it’s the last day of my life and I’ve been allowed to travel back to this moment with my 5 year old and 2 year old. When it works, it’s magical.

When it doesn’t work, I’m soaked in bathwater, loudly encouraging my daughter to stop hurtling a plastic octopus at her brother and she’s laughing my face.

Ahem. The point is: you might assume that strapping a computer on your face is just about the most disrespectful thing you could do to your kids. (I'm not saying you're wrong.)

But here’s what I’ve noticed: there’s something very different about staring down at slab of glass in your hand and looking straight ahead while wearing “Daddy’s Goggles”. I'm more physically present than holding a book, especially with my hands free.

Furthermore, I think it reveals something interesting around intention vs attention and the tech that pervades modern life.

Let’s have an example. I bought a new book on my Kindle recently: The Wager. I’m really excited to read it. It’s Saturday, so obviously the kids are around all day.

Before Vision Pro, I’d often find myself trying to get going with a book like this at breakfast — only to feel myself becoming frustrated and stressed out as my kids inevitably shout and fight and decide to build a fort under the table, or throw plastic cups at the floor.

There’s a building tension that comes from when you’re trying to resist the nature of the situation around you — and the noise makes it unsatisfying and impossible.

Now, should I stop trying? Yes. Absolutely yes. But parenting is a full life job, it never goes away, and you can’t dedicate every moment with your kids present to showering them in your attention. Sometimes, you want to be yourself — or sometimes you just need a moment of respite to recenter yourself.

I’ve found the Vision Pro a really interesting way to filter away some of the noise. I can fade out the centre of my view and replace it with a serene lake, or sit at the top of a mountain and look across the clouds. The book floats in front of me.

I have a choice.

Yesterday, they wanted to watch the same Disney film for the 1000th time. We snuggled up on the sofa, but instead of scrolling on my phone or iPad (or even Kindle), I could stare up into the clouds and again read my book.

So, what happens if they need you?

The nuclear option is to double click the Digital Crown and it returns to a pure unobstructed view of the world around you. Everything just disappears.

The more subtle part of this experience is kind of fascinating in practice. If someone is nearby, they show up as a kind of shadow in your environment. If you look toward the shadow, they fade in. The longer you hold your gaze on them, the clearer they become. It’s seamless, useful and actually quite beautiful.

This is a great example of the importance of how this device has been designed to interface with reality and those around you.

I set my wife going with a demo of the immersive video experiences on the sofa while I did bathtime. Glancing through the doorway, the front of the Vision Pro was blank to me. But as I got closer, it started to show the rippling colors that let me know she was immersed.

I said hello and, as she turned to look at me, I could see her eyes peeking increasingly clearly through the haze as I became a clearer part of her world.

At launch, I thought the eyes on the machine were ridiculous. They are definitely still incredibly easy to ridicule. But the idea behind their purpose, and their usefulness in practice is really important.

My kids can see my eyes when I have it on. They don’t think this is strange. They still learn and discover parts of our world that seem mad to them every single day. My daughter is amazed by an iPod Nano but thinks the iPad is the most normal form of computer.

The point is, if you don’t know this is a fundamentally unusual and new thing, your reaction to it is more intuitive and casual than if you have decided VR headsets are some mad dystopian thing. For them, it’s just part of a world they are learning about day by day.

My wife, on the other hand….

In summary, here’s the thing. We spend a lot of parenting time in a hinterland where we pretend we are present and paying attention, but were actually wasting time on our phone, trying to get something done, or wishing we were somewhere else.

Because this device is so imposing, and the choice to put it on is a big one, it’s clearer when you have taken it off, have no phone or anything nearby and your intentions are 100% focused on your child. And I resent it less, because it's a choice I've made.

When you have it on, it’s much easier to focus, get a bit more space for yourself, and enjoy a podcast, book or something while they are eating their supper, and you were kind of trying not to focus on them anyway.

Post script

Since writing the first part of this piece, I've been trying Vision Pro a lot more for my work day. One thing I've noticed is: after spending hours across a day wearing it, I'm a lot less keen to shove it back on for my downtime.

We'll see what happens this weekend, but I'm wondering if there are three kind of zones where it comes in:

1. Work. Nice big monitor. Yes please.
2. Boring kid time. Not the good wholesome stuff, but the monotonous gaps in between.
3. Alone time. Watching a movie, scrolling social (all pictures look amazing in here, but Instagram really pops.)

Another thing I tried was the park. There's a park near a pub down the road from us, so I can sip a Guinness while they try to achieve life-altering injuries on a variety of exotic apparatus.

This time, I was able to add a cinema size screen in the background and catch up on the rugby.

I'm a tech geek, but I'm not totally inured to how all this sounds. JUST HANG OUT WITH YOU KIDS YOU WEIRDO. I get it. Right now, I'm kind of pressure testing this thing because I want to fast-foward finding where it's at its best. The question isn't "what if you wear Vision Pro all the time", it's about where might you really want to and see benefit? What are the gaps in your life that it could enhance? Especially 3-5 years from now with a cheaper, smaller model.

What's it for?